Dear Deep River:

This is my first letter to you. And I'm sad to say that this is one depressing letter I’m writing.

‘Tis the season to be jolly’ is the phrase – The cliché of the week, month perhaps. But what I’m feeling inside now, just make me feel like a seasonal outcast.

Doesn’t he know that two years of stress and pressure have put me fatigued over academia?

Doesn’t he know that I want to forget academia for a while and do something that ‘does not help for my future?’

Doesn’t he know that I need to do something in my life where I can boldly say: ‘I chose this path myself’

Doesn’t he get it when I say ‘I don’t know’ means I don’t feel like talking about it and I don’t want to tell

Doesn’t he trust my responsibility and discipline, which I have proven throughout these last two years, not forgetting my leadership skills embedded within me during my high school years?

Doesn’t he know that every time he carves a milestone on my resume without my consultation, he is actually ruining it?

Doesn’t he get it when I’m sick and tired of listening and following whatever he has to say? Compromise was never an option, even if it was, it was an authoritarian compromise.

Outings that last for hours, back and out of the house, trips that are meaningless… just for the purpose of running away from all the madness.

Doesn’t he realise that he should be lucky to have a son who conforms and obey to whatever he has to say. Defying is not a principal in my life.

Didn’t I prove him wrong when I got chosen to go to the island republic?

Didn’t I tell him specifically what I wanted to do upon my return to the peninsular?

Didn’t I tell him of my principals, policies, mindset and mentality?

I love my girlfriend and my friends too much for them to see this entry.

If any of you who know me get to read this: Please do not even talk about it. I can get really bitchy at you. I'm sorry honey.